Budgeting for Couples: Getting on the Same Sheet of Music

"I was wondering if you would touch on the subject of getting your spouse on board with the money spending? We still have trouble from time to time with this. In your opinion how does a husband and wife stay on the same page on budgeting? Rock on Brother and thanks for your ministry!"
~ Archie and Gloria
Cookeville, TN 

Hey Archie & Gloria,

Before sharing my thoughts on getting on the same page financially with your wife, I have a few questions:

• Have you sat down with her and talked out (and written down) your individual & mutual financial goals?
• Have you considered scenarios together that will show what will likely happen in the future based on different levels of spending?
• Do you sit down together at the beginning of each month and laid out your written gameplan for the month? And then commit to each carry out your parts?
• Do you each have cash blow money allocated each month for personal spending? I've found this to be magical regarding helping your wife feel that she has a balance between both freedom (blow money) and constraint (the rest of the budget).

Coming together on this needs to happen before you go any further. Making & meeting commitments (each of you keeping your word) is key to building security, confidence and trust in your relationship. Basically, it causes you to feel safe with each other. And, until you both feel safe, it's impossible to pass "Go"! Your first step: Focus on aligning your financial goals -- what you want -- and your mutual agreement to follow your promises to get there. Making and meeting commitments to each other is the recipe for aligning on your budget.

Hope this helps!
~ Chuck